The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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