I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
