I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
