all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
