I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
