Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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