oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we made out on top of his cat.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
