C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
