Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
