margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
