It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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