Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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