I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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