youre lurking in front of me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
