I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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