and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
