I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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