it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
