I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
