Four minutes until I can fart!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
