I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
