I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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