I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
