she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
