Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize