Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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