Tell her she can't have a vagina
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
