So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
