i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
