if i can run in heels then i can drive
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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