Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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