Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
