What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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