God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Houston, we have a blender
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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