He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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