you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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