Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is my gift to your gina
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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