I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
