I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
