The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
