There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize