i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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