I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think my moral compass just broke
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
