I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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