they need to just BURY HIM!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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