I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Please don't give away my fajitas
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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