lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
