It's just like the Real World with babies
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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