Christians are straight up FREAKS
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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