I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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