is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
