Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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