Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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