are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
