It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
