i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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