party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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