she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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