bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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