just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
