I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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