I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
