In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
