Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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