and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
