she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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