Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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