we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
