for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize