I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
